


Too Legit to Commit

by cognomen



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-02
Updated: 2012-07-02
Packaged: 2017-11-09 00:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/449269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cognomen/pseuds/cognomen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the Prompt: It was hard...unsettling...damn near impossible for Tony to let people inside the shell he had built around his heart. The Iron Man suit wasn’t just a technological marvel, it was a symbol for his entire being. But there could never be enough gold-titanium alloy to protect him from the thing he feared most - letting someone see into his soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Legit to Commit

It's getting harder to take the suit off almost every time. Not because Tony can barely wait for anything to clear the testing stage before he's upgraded things to a whole new configuration, but because the - _Team_ \- seemed more willing to approach him with the suit off. Tony doesn't mind company - needs it on a certain level, but also _at_ a certain level. Preferably at arm's length, or further. The problem with the Avengers (with the possible exception of Thor, who's still on extended holiday to Asgard), is that they're all smart. 

A byproduct of intelligence is curiosity. They were all possessed of a pretty intense desire to know things. Many times their lives had been dependent on having the correct information. 

It meant he suddenly had a group of people just as familiar with him as he was with them, and he dislikes even footing. To his mind, it puts him at a disadvantage. The thing was, once people learned that the majority of what you presented to the world was a mask, they somehow felt they'd earned the right to demand that the mask be taken off whenever they wanted. They didn't like talking to it any more than addressing the emotionless titanium alloy helmet that hid Tony's most serious, most secret moments and kept him isolated and quiet.

Because invariably when people saw that deeply, it would start to get complicated. Either they were like Steve who saw Tony for what he was worth in his own opinion (nothing) an d then turned that painful, ugly mirror back on Tony remorselessly, or they assigned their own worth like Pepper. Tony felt like he was drowning in situations like that - like Pepper was holding a damp rag over his mouth sometimes and telling him to breathe and he lost all air, just that deeply into expectation - a sweet scent like chloroform.

He doesn't mind when no one expects anything for him, or when they write him off as unreliable or absentee. These things are partly true. So is the notion that he does everything with more than one motive, and usually the first one is Tony Stark. It's just not true in the same - and Tony realizes he's sitting here stalling now, enjoying his chance to take a break while the others celebrate victory and fail to notice him - it's not true in the regard everyone expects it to be. 

Tony wishes his heart were worth the amount of digging it took to get to it, but he knows it's not and the best he can try to do is make the walls thicker and hope people will give up before they get through. Though he knows _he_ wouldn't. Not yet. Just when he'd thought hew as near enough to perfect defenses, there was this whole save the planet thing seemed to want to happen every other week and - 

"Tony?"

Bruce. Who, to be fair, Tony had kind of started it. So, if Bruce paid a little extra attention when Tony was withdrawn, well. Partly Tony's fault.

"Yeah?" Tony asks, letting his suit pickups broadcast the sound instead of opening his helmet. 

"You're okay - right?" Bruce asks, head canted to one side as if seeking a way to peer through the suit's back-lit eyes and into Tony's own. 

The rest of the team's gone quiet, everyone's done congratulating each other. Tony feels frozen under the weight of their attention. 

"I'm fine," Tony answers shortly, feeling the suit responding to the stiffening of his spine, the tension in his muscles. He covers as best he can.

"I'll see you when the world needs more saving."

And he launches the suit into flight.

-

Of course it's only ever that simple for a little while. In the air, with communications cut, he's free. But he can't fly forever - he can't even procrastinate too long on going back home because he'd already used a lot of the suit's energy.

Maybe he'd have to think about arranging more time to joyride after these things. Or just when he had the _time_. That would be pretty much never between repairs and SI business. 

Tony's point proves itself when he lands on the external device removal pad. Jarvis re-links with the tower systems and informs him he has seven voice mail messages and one call on the line. 

"Tell the call I'm busy and to try again tomorrow," Tony starts, before Jarvis tries to tell him who he'll be hanging up on. 

"It's Dr. Banner, sir," Jarvis continues anyway. "Shall I override the protocol you've given to allow all his calls?"

Of course, Tony wouldn't get away scott-free. "No, put him through." 

"Tony, it's Bruce."

"Yeah, I know. Robo-butler told me," Tony reminds, speaking to the air at large as parts of the suit are pulled off of him in order. Bruce's voice feeds into his earpiece. "What's up?"

"Just thought you seemed to be in a bit of a hurry," Bruce answers. "And kind of - avoidant."

"Yeah." Tony says, resisting the urge to just hang up - running away again. At least this wasn't in front of everyone. "Just - not a lot of me time, lately."

He's saying the words without knowing fully _why_ , except that if he plays along, invents something self-centered as an excuse, it usually works to create a little distance. Bruce is quiet on the other end of the line for a moment. 

"So - you're probably not up for dinner?" Bruce ventures carefully into that space like a tightrope walker. 

Tony's caught in that space between wanting and fear. He _can't_ keep letting Bruce that deep, not if he wants him to stick around - and he _does_. Because Tony has no faith that what's happened with Pepper can possibly even happen twice - or that he could survive with that many expectations. He freezes. Not now, he's just too tired for defenses and games (and maybe that's why Bruce was aiming for him), and finally he can almost _hear_ Bruce starting to feel worried on the other end of the line.

"How's tomorrow, Bruce?" Tony stalls - but only long enough that he can deeper hide his fears. He doesn't want Bruce to misunderstand.

The only thing Tony Stark's afraid of isn't giant green monsters or dying in space or alien invasions, but that others will find him as worthless as he really is.


End file.
